12 Ways to Learn How to Tell If A Girl Is Using You

how to tell if a girl is using you

Relationships can be complicated, and one of the most difficult parts of any relationship is when one partner feels like they’re being used by the other one. If you’re a man who’s been wondering if the woman you’ve been seeing is using you or truly interested in you, not to worry because once you learn some of the signals these women usually give off, it becomes much easier to know what to do next.

Figuring out how to tell if a girl is using you is not necessarily difficult, but you do have to know what you’re looking for to determine this for sure.


So, you think your girl may just be using you but you don’t know for sure? The good news is that once you learn a few tips and suggestions and you know just what to look for in your woman’s language and demeanor, you’ll be able to spot these red flags immediately.

Some of the reasons why women use men are easy to understand; others are more difficult. Some of the most common reasons women use a man include the following:

• You can drive her from place to place. You have a car, she doesn’t. It’s as simple as that.

• She needs a father figure for her children. Single mothers are often guilty of this.

• You pay for everything. Even when you’re on a date, she should pay occasionally if she’s not using you.

• You’re a good handyman and she has jobs that need to be fixed around her home.

• For sex. Yes, women can use men for sex just like men can do to women.

Sometimes, you can evaluate your own behavior to determine if a woman is using you, but if you want to learn specifics, the following are a few that are important.

1. She Never Introduces You to Family and Friends

If a woman is hesitant to introduce you to the important people in her life, there might be a good reason why: she’s just using you.

While not every woman wants to introduce you to those close to her until she gets a good feel for where the relationship is headed, only women with no clear intentions of taking the relationship seriously will indefinitely avoid introducing her man to those people she is closest to.


2. She Never Uses the Term “Boyfriend” to Describe You

If you listen to how a woman speaks about you and notice she never uses the word “boyfriend” to describe you, it is very likely that she is just using you.

If a woman is proud of her relationship with you, she’ll have no problem calling you her boyfriend regardless of who you’re around, but if she never uses this important term, there may be a reason for it, so be on the lookout for this behavior.

3. She Is Overly Concerned with Your Salary

If the girl you’re dating seems to bring up your salary and how much money you make on a regular basis, it could be because she thinks of you as her own personal ATM and nothing else.

In reality, women you’re merely dating do not need to know what your exact salary is, so most women won’t bring this up at all. If she does it continuously, this is yet another red flag for you to notice because no woman who is taking your relationship seriously is going to care about the money you earn.

4. She’s Only Interested in Activities That She Herself Likes

If the woman in your life only agrees to do the things that she likes to do and doesn’t seem to care about your likes or dislikes, she may indeed be using you. If she is constantly saying things like, “I’d rather go …” and she is unwilling to compromise whenever the two of you are figuring out what to do for the evening, this is usually not a good sign.

A woman who truly cares about you will compromise and let you choose where to go for the evening so that it’s not always just her decision.

5. She Uses Negative Body Language When You’re Around

When the two of you are out in public and a girl is really interested in you, she’ll show that with her body language. She’ll look you in the eye when you’re talking, touch your arm occasionally, and smile at you as you hold a conversation together.

If she is continuously looking everywhere but in your direction or won’t touch you in any way, she is telling you that she is not that proud to be seen with you, and it may be because she is using you.

Everything Is About Her

6. Everything Is About Her

If a girl is using you, she may drop by unexpectedly because she’s bored, call you at times that may not be convenient for you but which are convenient for her, and maybe even go ballistic when you don’t say or do the right thing.

In other words, she is taking advantage of you because she knows she can get away with it. If every conversation and action is about her and never about you, it is very likely that she is using you.

7. She Only Contacts You When She Needs to Vent

If you never see this woman unless she needs someone to talk to and vent her frustrations to, she may indeed be using you. While even good relationships involve being able to vent to the other person, if this is all she does when you’re together, it is likely a red flag.

In a healthy relationship, both partners can speak freely about anything and everything. It is not just a one-sided arrangement.

8. She Gets Upset When Materialistic Things Disappear

If your woman goes crazy when you close out your Netflix account or doesn’t show an interest in being around you if you’re temporarily without a car, it could be because she’s using you.

This is the same thing as not wanting to hang out with you because your apartment is too small or because you have a blue-collar job. It is shallow, to say the least, and it is usually a clear-cut sign that the woman is using you.

9. She Uses the Dreaded Phrase, “I Need My Space”

Many women use the phrase, “I need my space” to justify seeing you for a while then stopping any interaction with you for days or weeks at a time. If a woman is interested in you, she’ll want to see you consistently like most people in real relationships do.

If she disappears and only sees you occasionally, she is not committed to this relationship and therefore it may be time to move on to someone else.

10. She Seems Interested in One of Your Friends

If a woman shows an interest in one of your friends, she may be using you just to be around him whenever she can. If she is in a real relationship with you and finds herself interested in someone else, an honest woman would just break it off with you and move on.

She will never keep you around until she figures out if a relationship with that other man is plausible. Regardless of what she’s thinking, it’s time to call it quits as soon as you notice her paying too much attention to one of your friends.

Dominant One

11. She Has to Be the Dominant One in the Relationship

Again, a woman who is using you will consider only her own needs and never yours. If she is “wearing the pants” in the relationship, she may in fact be using you. This isn’t the same as a woman who is merely independent and confident.

When women are dominant and feel like they have to control every single aspect of the relationship, it is likely because they are using you, which means it is time for you to cut ties with her and move on to someone who will appreciate you a little more.

12. She Plays the Damsel in Distress Too Often

If a woman plays the damsel in distress role over and over again, it is obvious she is using you because she knows you’re always going to be there to help her out. She knows she can count on you time and time again, which is why she does it.

This is especially true if you rarely see her in between those times, because it is obvious that is the only reason she is hanging out with you in the first place.


So, if you want to know how to tell if a girl is using you, it really is simpler than you think. You should always look at the whole picture and not just the times when the relationship seems to be going well.

If you believe your feelings for her are stronger than the feelings she has for you, it might be time to chalk this relationship up to experience and move on, but if she is truly using you, it will be worth it in the end.

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